I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
Randomize
