I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
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