Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
