I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
