I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Randomize
