Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Randomize
