exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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