Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize