How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
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