That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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