i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
