I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
