I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
Randomize
