Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
I have feelings that need drinking.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
