He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Randomize
