once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
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