So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
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