my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Randomize
