yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
what is it with giant penises always finding me
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
