So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
Let's get the cat blown out
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
Randomize
