I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
