Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
She told me I should be a condom model.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
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