Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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