im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize