im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
Randomize
