There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Randomize
