Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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