oh fat girl friday strikes again...
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Randomize
