is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
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