And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
