dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
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