Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
