I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
Randomize
