Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
