Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
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