wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
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