I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Randomize
