She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
Randomize
