Me too!
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
Randomize
