I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
Randomize
