No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
