I think I just saw someone hide a body.
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
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