My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
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