They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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