i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
Please, let me fuck your mom
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
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