yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
Randomize
