he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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