Are we in a gay sports bar?
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
we're making bets on your personal life
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
