he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
