are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize
