I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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