Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
