Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Randomize
