what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
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