I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
