Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
