I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
I have feelings that need drinking.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Randomize