but the lizard people decide everything anyway
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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