my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
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