I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
Randomize
