He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Randomize
