I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
