I don't usually arrange sex via text message
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
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