Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
