PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
