He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
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