Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Randomize
