Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
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