how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize