God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Randomize
