Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
