Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
