This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
