I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize
