dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
