dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
Oh god it's open bar.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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