You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Randomize
