3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
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