Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
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