your room smells of hookers.
And success
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize