i was born a porn star she said
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
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